Rachel Marie

by Rachel Marie

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1.
Soar 04:01
I sit alone on a dusty floor In a hazy light so calm and pure I only wish I could be sure That someday I will soar ‘Cause my soft, smooth skin is growing rough And my easy right is getting tough And it seems I’m never good enough Anymore But if I fly too high, will the sun burn my wings? And if I reach the sky, will my lungs still sing? It costs a lot for everything I ever wanted It costs a lot for everything I ever wanted The blinding lights on this empty stage Fill the yellow tint of this empty page And I think that it would show my age To lay down here and cry But I’m scared these seats will never fill And this stage will stay alone and still And all I’ll have is that I’m still alive But if I cry too long, will I crash all too soon? And if I sing this song, will it carry across this room? It takes a lot to sing over all the noise It takes a lot to sing over all the noise And if I sing I will risk my heart And if you hear these words I’ll risk being torn apart And if I fly I will risk the fall But if I don’t sing I’ll risk never being heard at all I sit alone on a dusty floor In a hazy light so calm and pure I only wish I could be sure That someday I will soar
2.
Chances 04:12
Soft words, spoken in poetry Tattered and broken, weathered and worn A soft breeze, winds blowing faster And shortly thereafter, these pages are torn On this windy day, my words float away But here you stay Are you here to stay? ‘Cause here between Awkward glances and missing chances I’m waiting for you – I’m waiting for you To move me, for you to make your move And here in this moment of weakness I realize I have nothing left to prove And nothing left to lose Soft words, spoken in helplessness Screaming inside, can you see in my eyes That my heart’s turning tables, I try to keep stable But it’s not so easy when chances roll by And you just chase them away Do you have to play these games? ‘Cause here between Awkward glances and missing chances I’m waiting for you to – I’m waiting for you To choose me, for you to make your choice But no matter how much I scream, no matter how desperately You cover your ears so you don’t hear my voice So you don’t hear this noise And here between Awkward glances and missing chances I’ve decided that I won’t hit the ground You won’t keep me down I won’t buy this, no I won’t be silenced I’ll keep singing until you hear my voice ‘Til you don’t have a choice
3.
Last time we talked about it, we decided it was best You didn’t want me to be just another girl When we went back into our own separate worlds And in my own frustration, I look at what we’ve got left My frustration is drowned in your smile And I forget about that decision for a while These days I’m not afraid of being just another girl I’m not afraid of being someone you won’t see I’m afraid that I’ll relive all of the pain you put me through And I’m afraid that you’ll mean everything to me But I’m sure I’m worth more than just another girl Yeah, I’m sure I’m worth more than just another girl When I think about it, it all makes sense And I think that it’s all gonna work out fine When you hands are linked with mine And in the moment, it all seems so intense And I don’t wanna wake up the moment it’s gone I don’t wanna discover that I was wrong These days I’m not afraid of being left out on my own I’m not afraid of having nothing to believe I’m afraid that we’ll grow closer than we ever have before And that I’ll be bent and broken when you leave But I’m sure I’m worth more than just another girl Yeah, I’m sure I’m worth more than just another girl I’ve been told if you’re not sure that I’m worth more than just another girl That you’re not worth my time, but see, you are ‘Cause if I wanted to let go, I would have done it long ago, ‘cause baby you’re my hope and you’re my star I’m sure I’m worth more than just another girl Yeah, I’m sure you know that I’m worth more than just another girl
4.
Grey 03:45
Dazed and dreaming, stumbling through the cold Letting go of everything I’d been told Was harder than it sounded And it sounded pretty hard Grey clouds form and down the grey snow pours Tainted as my grey heart ‘cause nothing seems as pure As it used to And it’s harder to believe It’s hard to believe that love can live alone, uncompromised When the love that I believe has left your eyes And you walk away the way you always do And it makes me wonder if I make it that much easier to Scared am I of tearing at the seams Snow melts silently with all my dreams The life I want so badly A life that’s so surreal Reading into every little word Thinking what I wish for is absurd Makes me think I can’t achieve this Or anything at all I don’t know why I feel so lonely when I play this part The more I come close to you the more I pull apart I want to melt your ice-cold stare, your ice-cold heart But I don’t know where to start
5.
Monopoly 03:08
I watch your shiny car go by From my little orange cell And it feels like home, feels like home to me ‘Cause I’ve missed it here, though I miss you well Last time I was out of here This pity of a jail I passed by your estate and I took a chance But I couldn’t pay the bail So now I’m back to where I started from And I never passed “Go” ‘cause I couldn’t outrun The voices in my mind telling me to find another way So here I am today I never learned to play this game The way it’s supposed to be ‘Cause there’s just too much, too much strategy And this silly deal seems unreal to me ‘Cause now you’ve turned out all my lights And it’s much too dark to see The dog ran off with my “Get Out Free” card And you still have the key So now I’m back to where I started from And I never passed “Go” ‘cause I couldn’t outrun The monsters in my mind telling me you’d never come around ‘Cause all your lies would pull you down My old friends come to visit here And we gossip through the bars And they said they’d heard, heard around that you Had gone and switched my cards So please don’t think I didn’t know Don’t think I didn’t see They said you’d hurt me, said you’d hurt me Said you’d hurt me You have not won this monopoly No, you don’t have that kind of control of me ‘Cause you can’t keep jerking the cost Of the things you’ve gone and lost So now I’m back to where I started from And I never passed “Go” ‘cause I couldn’t outrun The fire in your eyes telling me to rise above your voice It seems I had no other choice
6.
October 05:11
This was supposed to be October But the leaves refuse to fall I’ve been waiting for a change Haven’t we all? The colors fade from this portrait of you and me As I grow tired and strained The leaves stay green in the trees, teasing me Saying, “it’s never going to change” I need a fresh start and some fresh air without you But it’s still humid and warm You’re off becoming something as I sit in my backyard Waiting for poetry to form Then the leaves fall, and you fall away And the wind hits my face And though I’m tired, I am inspired by a new light On this so familiar place October comes with grace This was supposed to be a new leaf But it seems every one’s the same I don’t know how to get a fresh start When everyone here knows my name This new song sounds wrong to the ones who know me But I have grown And though the sound of my voice is not the same It’s still the voice that you have known I can feel it, a call to be new And I can finally see That I have come to some kind of understanding And there is gold in the trees Then the leaves fall, and you fall away And the wind hits my face And though I’m tired, I am inspired by a new light On this so familiar place October comes with grace You were made for more than this home and your guitar And these keys could never take you very far There comes a time for every leaf to change And the same old October comes in a new way
7.
Let Me Down 04:18
Just look at us today Did you ever see it working out this way? You make it easier to smile Now I know it isn’t fair That in the frosty cold of winter air I chose to walk alone that mile And I wonder if I hurt you And I wonder if you thought I’d desert you But if I had one answer to one question One hint, just one suggestion If you could turn this thing around Would you let me down? You missed me every time And I missed your hints between the lines But she said I’d marry you someday Do you believe this superstition? Or that all my words were lost in transmission I never know just what to say And I wonder if you still want this And I wonder if just one kiss Would give me one answer to one question One hint, just one suggestion If you could turn this thing around Would you let me down? You sing with me and that’s All I ever wanted Memories of you and me They, they leave me haunted I’m sorry I didn’t see you When you could’ve seen something too I love your eyes They show me everything you disguise And it makes it easier to hear And all you’ve done for me Is more than you could ever see You just need to know I hold you dear And I wonder if you’re feeling tough And I wonder if that’s just not enough But if I had one answer to one question One hint, just one suggestion If you could turn this thing around Would you let me down?
8.
Will you stay ablaze for me? ‘Cause the sun won’t hold Its gaze upon this street And it feels so cold Once upon a time, you’d shine so bright But your light just wouldn’t stay And suddenly, you’re two feet And a million miles away Baby, when darkness falls around you How can I relight your flame? This match is damp and it won’t light But things can’t stay the same Stop this sighing, crying And keep on shining When you dreamed of what you’d be You know, you were right You’re staring into the image Of what you had in sight You are who you are, and it’s beautiful still So don’t put up a fight And if she doesn’t see you shine She isn’t worth the light Baby, when darkness falls around you How can I relight your flame? This match is damp and it won’t light But things can’t stay the same Stop this sighing, crying And keep on shining
9.
The River 04:42
Just let it go, watch the river flow Full of life and love and all things new They’ll never know if you don’t let it show What you’ve done, where you’ve been, who are you? The water here is so calm and clear That when I look to the floor I can see right through Like I see through you Look at where you are It’s not very far From where I’m standing now If you can find it in your heart to change I know it looks cool, but don’t be fooled Babe, you’ll get burned right up, it’s just not safe You think it looks fun; you’re not the only one But I don’t want to see you get washed away Come back to the pool ‘cause those rapids can be so cruel And when I’m not being angry I’m so afraid Why can’t you just stay? Look at where you are It’s not very far From where I’m standing now If you can find it in your heart to change We used to be standing on the same ledge You didn’t used to be so close to the edge You used to listen, but you don’t Hear me anymore You seem to have made your choice And I seem to have lost my voice ‘Cause I’ve screamed and screamed But there’s just no cure You could wade in the stream; this water’s clean It’ll take your sin and make you new If you stop rolling your eyes, you might be surprised ‘Cause everything we told you here was true I’m all out of breath, and this is all I’ve got left And I’d hate to think that I’ve lost you too After all we’ve been through Look at where you are It’s not very far From where I’m standing now If you can find it in your heart to change
10.
Sleep is my release these days And my guitar sits on its stand un-played And in my dreams, I wonder if it misses me As much as I miss my ebony and ivory keys What a strife To realize I have too much of a life to have a life And I’ve been wondering what it’s worth Living the day-to-day this way When in the end, all I’ve got is an appointment And nothing of importance to say I love this road, but I hate the lines I drive so hard and so fast that I can’t see the signs It’s a blur, and I swerve every once in a while, so unsure So many opportunities, so many roads, and oh, so little time The clock strikes two and then strikes three As time just flies away from me The way it seems to do every day And it’s a wonder I’m keeping on this way Lead, paper, paint and tea My mind swirls with science and history But where’s the music gone? I don’t know Two months and I’ve got none to show I love this cage, but I hate the bars It’s nice to have somewhere to go, but I can’t see the stars I’m so small and so scared, I feel so tired and so unprepared And this contemplative silence is broken by the sound of speeding cars That drive to where you are, whatever, wherever you are
11.
Green really isn't your color Your envy isn't justified Just wait until you've heard the lies and Seen how this weak tint grows duller As time goes on and passions fade There are choices hashed and options weighed And I guess I'm just not that beautiful Not as tall or as small as those girls on TV I wonder if it would be too much to ask If you'll sit and stay with me Oh, it's true I love you Dance with me, my friend It doesn't have to mean a thing I just need a place to swing Between all I resent And everything that makes me fly If only you could take me higher I wish your arms would stay Here on my waist for a time Why do you always go away? You want what's yours, not what's mine Oh, it's true I miss you Memory holds me to you Nostalgia clings me to your own The emptiness that I called home but You’ve been so much less than true And being last in this line hurts When all along, you’ve been my first But I guess I’m just not that beautiful Not as tall or as small as you wished I would be I wonder if it would be too much to ask If you'll go, just let me be Oh, it's true I won’t wait for you
12.
“Wouldn’t it be amazing,” she said “If we could really stop the hunger Make everyone aware, make everyone care” So we held our signs And our faith in human kindness high And the people on the highway stared Reach out; speak out There’s nothing left to cry about When you know those smiling eyes Are because of you “I know I can do it,” she says “I’m gonna stop the war And restore the peace in these poor old streets” So we hang our signs From the poles that hang the telephone lines And say “peace be with you” to everyone we meet Reach out; speak out There’s nothing left to cry about When you know those smiling eyes Are because of you We have people to care for We have damage to restore We know that doing something good Is only doing what we should We have a marvelment to stand for What more could we ask for? Reach out; speak out There’s nothing left to cry about When you know those smiling eyes Are because of you
13.
Hear Me Now 03:28
My soft voice drowns in the laughter And mischievous smiles of the demons she faces But still, faithful, following after Through every curve, the melody traces And I pray that she hears me now She toes the edge, a steep canyon They all stand beside, but they don’t hold her hand And when a breeze blows in and she’s no longer standing They defend the wind rather than save their friend And I pray that she won’t stay down Well I’m tired and sore from this tug of war It’s a mess and I rest for a while But you know these ropes aren’t tied, won’t hold you Just gotta choose which side to hold on to My hand’s out soon as you come around Whenever you hit the ground And I’ve found You’ll make it back somehow And I pray that you hear me now
14.
Static 03:35
I thought I was too strong to ever falter I thought I was too young to burn away She told me to stop and smell the roses Strange advice for such a rainy day And though I searched, the wind tore down The only flower I could find And as the petals close, so does my heart So does your mind My heart’s afraid of being torn Your mind’s afraid of being wrong But maybe if we just stopped closing We’d know just where our hearts belong So I scream through the storm And I sing with all my soul And I smile a smile so warm It keeps me safe from all this cold If you speak truth over the static I’ll hear you loud and clear And if you listen I can fight away your fears I’ve never been the kind to kiss in secret I’ve never been the kind to kiss and tell I’ve never been the kind to kiss at all You know this, you know me very well I’ve never like that gesture So lightly viewed But maybe I could kiss you And you’d like it too It’s always so complex and hard This can’t come easily But I just want to take your hand and Finally become free So I scream through the storm And I sing with all my soul And I smile a smile so warm It keeps me safe from all this cold If you speak truth over the static I’ll hear you loud and clear And if you listen I can fight away your fears I see rainbows in the night sky And rainstorms sing to me I feel beauty in the earth And I hear angels in the seas You may say that I’m a dreamer But this love’s real to me This love sets me free So I scream through the storm And I sing with all my soul And I smile a smile so warm It keeps me safe from all this cold If you speak truth over the static I’ll hear you loud and clear And if you listen I can fight away your fears
15.
TCS 02:36
My lungs are as dry as the winter air we breathe And they’re crumbling inside me like a crisp pile of leaves Have you ever stopped to wonder how sick you would feel With leaves just settling in your gut? But I can’t say a thing ‘cause you’re that thing that I can’t have But if you’d take a moment to stop being so attractive, maybe This phase would pass and I Wouldn’t feel so stuck But I don’t know why I can’t just let, let this one slide I wonder if it’s strange that when your fingers play those keys I’d like to think that you would think of serenading me but I just want to harmonize Until I’m out of breath I’d serenade you now, but that’d be awkward and inappropriate So I’ll just stay a safe distance away and serenade myself Unless you’d take the time to come and listen But I won’t hold my breath ‘cause I know It might take a good deal of time Before you’d even consider what it would mean to be mine

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released September 5, 2010

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Rachel Marie Cambridge, Massachusetts

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Rachel Marie follows in a tradition of unapologetically forthright women folksingers, with songs that hearken to "overstuffed lines of Tori Amos, philosophical turn of Indigo Girls, and lilting vocals like Joni Mitchell." The social awareness of folk meets the introspection of the singer-songwriter tradition with a moderate dose of snark. ... more

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